i can’t focus. i have a quiz in 24 minutes, and i can’t get myself to focus to even do the reading it’s going to cover. my head just hurts, and i can’t take this medication -_- because i can only take this pill every 3 weeks. i don’t know. and i feel meh. i feel sad. it’s not because of valentine’s day. i think valentine’s day is cute. i just… i feel out of body and not in a good way. “creator, destroyer” by angel olsen just started playing, and it’s so beautiful. i look so sloppy right now. i can tell i stand out. i live in a city where people just wear jeans and t shirts from hollister, and here i am in a black leather skirt shite sheer top that has a black bow at the neck, black converse, bright sea green headphones and my loooonggg hair, and ya. i feel myself stand out.
i was talking to maria yesterday. i’m so thankful for her.
i hope for the best for my friends.
i want to understand where i stand with people.
ok i have 30 minutes until the quiz… i should be able to cram. i really should, but it’s like i can’t. i’m trying and nothing is sticking and my head just burns. it feels like i’m wearing a crown of thorns and fire.
ahhh oasis started play. i can’t listen to depressing music when i feel sad. at least i shouldn’t. “here’s a thought for every man who tries to understand what is in his hands”
I wish i was better with words. i wish i can combine letters in a way that would make people really understand what i feel and think. that’s the biggest reason as to why i have so much respect for artists. i just find it to be such a gift how they can mold their emotions and fill the mold with words and like i can’t do that. i can’t express what i feel or think that well. i really wish i could. i mean we all know the words they use so why can’t i combine my vocabulary in a way that is just as magical as when they do it. no use.
tapping my toes. squinting my eyes. because it just hurts. it really does. i want to just cry or something. “as they took his soul they stole his pride”
so nauseous and dizzy. they’re fits and dizzy spells
god. 23 minutes.
woah, a really tall girl just walked past me. but i’m 5ft 2in